Constants of the Universe
by crazytook
Summary: Kirk gets injured again , gets bored while he’s injured, and contemplates his friends and his ship while waiting for the Enterprise to rescue him. H/C/Humor-ish. Rating for Language only, really. Bitsy mentions of minor violence.


-1Title: Constants of the Universe

Characters: Kirk POV, Spock, Bones, mentions of whole crew

Pairings: Mention of Spock/Uhura, Kirk, Bones, Spock friendship

Rating: PG-13, really just for swear words though

Warnings: Just Swear words. Mention of violence/injury (not graphic)

Summary: Kirk gets injured (again), gets bored while he's injured, and contemplates his friends and his ship while waiting for the Enterprise to rescue him.

Disclaimer: Zero money is being made off of this. Duh.

A/n: OK, so I attempted a weird structure. This is a one shot, and it is a story in list form. Sort of. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Let me know what you think! If you think the structure works, or if I need to actually expand the story so that all the list stuff gets in, or whatever else you thought about it! Constructive Criticism is super welcome!

Enjoy the story!

-crazytook

A white-hot flash of sharp pain ripped through Jim Kirk's side. He tried to let out a scream, or at the very least, a moan, but found he was too weak and exhausted to do either. He took as deep a breath as he dared and slowly let it out as the pain begin to subside a fraction. After the supposed diplomat that had invited him over to his back-asswards fucked up little planet had beat the crap out of him with some kind of knife thing that he'd never seen before, he'd managed to run away and hide, having been stripped of phaser and communicator upon his arrival. He had also succeeded in finding a shelter to lay down and pass out in. Hopefully, it would keep him hidden, cave like things were good for that, right? All big and empty….shit, well, they were bound to get lost, yeah? Kirk mentally sighed, mostly because he didn't dare attempt to breath in so deeply. His plan had serious flaws in it. Being this hidden decreased the chances of anyone on the Enterprise finding him. He was proud of his forethought to rip of the bottom half of his shirt and use it as a kind of bandage, but he knew that it was soaking up blood slower than he was bleeding.

Kirk groaned as another flash of pain hit him. Or rather, he tried to groan. Man, he felt pathetic. And pissed. Pissed at the Federation, mostly because he knew someone or someones were out to get him, wanted him to fail. This was the 5th mission in 3 months that he'd been specifically assigned to by the Federation to sign some kind of treaty or address their request to join the federation or whatever diplomatic bullshit they stated that in reality was a planet that was bat shit insane and got their kicks out of maiming/attempting to kill Federation Starship Captains.

And he knew that the Federation knew these planets were high risks, were most likely lying or setting some kind of trap. His whole ship knew it. And shit, if Bones and Spock didn't know it. Spock, at least just left it at telling him that he was either acting illogically, or the only logical choice was to proceed despite the risks. But Bones. The first time, Bones had just assumed it was Jim and his recklessness or bad luck. The third time, Bones was telling Jim he didn't have to go on those "damned away missions", and "Good God man, let someone else risk their skins", and "Damn it, Jim, I may not be able to put you back together one day", and "I'm a Doctor, not a magician.", and again just for good measure, "Damn it, Jim." again.

But today, Bones had practically begged for him not to go, insisted it was a trap of some kind and was going to end up hurt or worse. He'd never heard Bones remotely beg anyone for anything before. And, sure he'd felt a little bad beaming down, but he had a duty. They wanted the Captain, and he was the Captain. And yes, he was not a complete moron and knew the request to "come alone" really meant, "we want to maim, torture, or otherwise do unpleasant things to you." but Pike had gone when Nero called him over, and his father's captain had gone, and he was sure his father would've gone had it ever come to that, and he damn sure wasn't backing down.

Another flash of pain, this time in his chest, distracted him from his thoughts, and by the time the pain subsided, he'd realized he was getting bored. He almost wished he'd pass out to have something to do. As he lie there in pain and probably a small pool of his own blood, he figured his thoughts would have to suffice as entertainment, but damn it all if he didn't wish he hadn't brought a PADD with something to read or watch on it. And well, screw it, but there was no use wishing now, he didn't have one on him, so he might as well try to think positively. The Enterprise would find him eventually, and there were plenty of PADDs on board the ship, if Bones let him read one. That man ruled the sickbay with an iron fist when he was involved. Kirk never had any fun in there. And when the Enterprise came for him, he would get to once again enjoy Bones' hospitality. Because the Enterprise would come for him. He knew that. If there was one thing Kirk was glad of, it was that there were certain Universal constants such as that. Such as

1)The enterprise will always come for him. Sure, he hadn't always had the benefit of that kind of luxury in his past, but he sure as hell had it now. One month in and two bad missions, and he knew that one for sure.

He kept listing in his head. Hell, it was something to do. He knew

2) If the Enterprise didn't come for him it's because there was no way to humanly-or Vulcanly-

possibly to reach him. Or his rescue meant the destruction of a planet or the death of hundreds, thousands, millions, or hell, ones, and they weren't about to make that sacrifice or make him deal with the guilt again of someone else sacrificing their life or lives for his. Or he had given explicit orders that they not come for him.

3) The latter two reasons were unlikely and Kirk really just told himself they were true so he could sleep at night.

4) no matter how much Bones understood why Spock worked so hard on the whole "I control my emotions, they are illogical and I WILL control them" (he had been there for the first act of the "Kirk gets choked" show) he will always be frustrated by it and pissed off by it, because with Bones, misery DOES love company. And the most he can even began to compromise on the issue is to demand that if Spock insists on not showing emotion, he at least admits that he does feel it.

5) Spock will always insist Bones is being illogical regarding that issue. And hell, all other issues, because Kirk was positive he Enjoyed-yes enjoyed- pissing Bones off.

6) Kirk will always secretly agree with Bones-he had the strictest of confidences that Spock was capable of the moderation emotions in ways other Vulcans probably aren't.

7) Spock will always find a veiled way to express his emotions to him, Bones, and Uhura, anyways. Because, secretly, maybe Spock believes its true too. Or at the very least might think that maybe, just maybe, since he is half human, it is only logical that he can temper his emotions and experience them in a way that other Vulcans cannot-although that is a theory on which he has insufficient data and prior experiments and investigations have shown that the most logical course of action would be to continue down the Vulcan path.

8) Kirk will always be amazed at the logic games Spock can play with himself. And always wonder if he can't find a way to phrase that so it doesn't always sound so dirty.

9) Kirk will always keep it to himself that at the end of the day, Spock is just as reckless as himself no matter what Spock tells himself so he can sleep at night. And hell, maybe Uhura knows too.

10) Uhura will probably know a side of Spock he will never see. And he'll probably always know one she won't either.

11) Uhura will never sleep with him. She's a Spock girl, he figures. Him and Spock just won't ever have the same girls competing for them. Just not her type, he figures.

12) Uhura will never actually mother Chekov, she's happy enough leaving that up to Bones.

13) Chekov will always go straight to Sulu when he's injured. And Sulu (because Chekov's always more injured than he's willing to admit or that will "just heal on its own" ) will have to drag him to sick bay where he'll get yet another lecture from Bones on not trying to act like an adult and to act like one by being responsible for his injuries.

14) Bones will always lecture more softly and less gruffly when Chekov's involved.

15) Bones will always smile after the infectious kid leaves sick bay just fine and all patched up.

16) When Chekov's not "just fine", Bones will curse everything that exists and some things that don't, and eventually loses the heart to curse anything until the kid wakes up.

17) Sulu will always be found in the fencing room working out "aggression" when Chekov is hurt that badly.

18) Sulu will always secretly be a bad ass, he's fine with no one knowing.

19) Chekov will always admire Sulu's fighting skills over Kirk's.

20) Kirk will always secretly appreciate that.

21) Kirk will always also appreciate that Scotty will always scheme anyone's death who insults the enterprise and Kirk will always turn the death schemes into harmless-ish pranks.

22) Scotty will always pick a slightly crueler prank then the one Kirk suggested.

23) Kirk will always laugh harder at the prank Scotty picked.

24) Kirk doesn't mind the childish like shenanigans that sometimes go on the Enterprise, it's a better

ship than any other in the fleet with a better crew no matter how the Federation tries to sabotage him.

25) The Federation will try to sabotage him until they respect him.

26) It's going to be a indefinite amount of missions that Kirk will be returning to Sick bay until that happens.

27) Bones will always be pissed when Kirk comes back injured.

28) Every time Bones says, "Damn it, Jim!" he's really saying, "I love you."

Kirk laughed a little as an image of the director gruffly yelling at him for reckless behavior while Spock either sat there silently either trying to control his emotions-cause that guy worried about him, yeah, he knew he worried and dare he think it, was scared for him- or he announced his judgment as to whether or not Kirk's behavior had been "logical". Capt. James Tiberius Kirk lost consciousness with a smile on his face.

Which is exactly how Dr. Leonard McCoy, aka Bones, found him, Spock in tow.

Kirk slowly started to regain consciousness as he heard Bones shout, "Over here" to someone.

"What is his condition, Doctor?" Kirk heard the unmistakable voice of Spock say.

"The smiling moron is stable, but I have to get him back to the ship immediately!" He heard Bones abrasively demand.

And in true Spock fashion, Kirk listened in a dream like state as Spock wasted no time and ordered Scotty to beam them up. He heard the rushed "aye, sir" from Scotty.

And just before he felt his particles pull apart to be put together back on the Enterprise, he

felt Bones lean over him protectively as he said to himself, "Damn it, Jim."

Kirk laughed a little as he floated away back home.


End file.
